Thought 1:
This isn't a deep thought, this is just something that is now bugging the crap out of me. Caroline has had her ears pierced since she was 6 months old (perfectly pierced by the anesthesiologists at CHOP) and after a year of nothing happening to the little pink earrings in her ears I decided it was time for an upgrade. I traded in an old necklace of mine and got Caroline her very first pair of real tiny diamond earrings. I am sad to say that within 3 months one came out never to be seen again *sigh*. When I noticed it missing I went into freak out "what if it closes up" mode and stuck one of my only slightly bigger diamonds in her ear. You can only guess what happened to it. So, I took out the one remaining tiny diamond of hers and put back in her little pink 1st earrings. A week ago she woke up with only one of those in..YES, her very first pair of earrings that I wanted to hold onto and keep for a baby book we now only have one of *double sigh*. So, as a last effort I dug into my jewelry and came out with a little tiny pair of tanzanite earrings. They looked so cute on her and she did good for ONE week. This morning I got to the babysitter only to realize that she only had ONE earring in AGAIN *scream (because I am way past sighing)*. I don't know what I will do tonight or what I will put in her ears because now she has not only lost every earring she owns but also every earring that I own that she could wear. Okay, I am over it... just needed to vent. I know, shes a baby and these things happen once, maybe twice.. but really??? AGHHHHHHH!
Thought 2 :
I am motivated. Don't ask me where it came from but deep in the night I guess I came up with a lot of motivation. Don't get me wrong, it is not motivation that stretches across my entire life. I am motivated to better my house. I feel like its almost a nesting desire deep within me somewhere. I am itching to make a change. I have furniture I want to move around and rooms I want to dive into with both feet and start redoing. My backyard has been an eyesore since the day we moved in. Adam and I spent countless hours in the backyard at first trying to rake and get somewhere with it all and then life happened and we got dogs and we got married and then I got pregnant and very little has been done in that yard since then! I swear I think that there is at least 10 years of matted pine straw and yuck in that yard and by yuck I mean pine straw, pine cones, the occasional whatever that the dog has torn up, things from a time way before us that seem to surface every once in a while, etc. I think some of my motivation came from finding how much Caroline loves to be outside. This weekend we didn't do much else other than play with and entertain Caroline. We made MANY trips to the backyard to swing and Adam and I took turns raking. I hope that this motivation sticks with me and we may finally one day enjoy our house and backyard. (fingers crossed)
Thought 3:
I have an aching in my bones for the fall. Its not just an end to this hot and humid weather, but some of the things I love start in the fall. I can't wait for football season to be in full swing. I love when you can sit at home and pretty much any channel has an interesting football game on. The smell of a bonfire is something I can't wait to smell this season. I want to catch up with friends I haven't seen in a while. I want to have more gatherings at my house and cook out and sit around something burning. (HAHA) If you know me, then you know I love games. My family gets together VERY often but we don't "play" well together. It never fails that when you get my dad involved in a game (IF you can get him involved in a game) that somehow there are discrepancies in the rules of some sort, my little brother insists on reading the cards (which drives me crazy) when playing games like Trivial Pursuit, and by the end of the game we are all wanting to be as far from each other as possible. So, this being said if any of my family is reading this does not mean I want to play games with YOU. LOL... I do want to keep having you over and maybe one day we can play a game with no fight. I do have friends though that I feel like are "long lost" friends lately and I want everyone to get together because you just never know when doing something "later" may not come.
AND this brings me to my next thought...
Thought 4:
I saw this verse on someones Facebook page the other day and it stood out to me. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" Psalm 34:18. In the past few weeks it seems like there have been many people that I know who have lost someone close to them in life. I mean lost someone as of death or even lost someone because of divorce or other reasons. I think being brokenhearted can come from many things and it really has been heavy on my heart lately. With the fall and cooler weather I tend to sometimes get down in the dumps and more "depressed" at times. You all know that I am not a Debbie Downer and I don't dwell on whats wrong with life. But, it never fails that at the start of this season I go through a transitional period where I think about the sad parts of my life. I think about Caroline and all that she has been through and all that she will have to endure in her life and it finds me very brokenhearted. Its also times like this when I miss my grandmother. She was one of the most wonderful women in the world and I miss her more than words can express. She loved Caroline so much that you could just see it all over her face and it makes me so sad that Caroline will not know or remember her when she is grown. (and here I am crying on my keyboard)..... anyways, it is comforting to know that, as the above verse states "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted...."
When I started this post I had no intentions of adding the 4th thought but it came to me as I typed and I am sorry if it made what was a happy post, sad. I am not usually a sad person and I thank God everyday for the amount of time he gives us with each person in our lives. I will leave you with a few pictures from my sweet Rhino's 12th bday.
And the lyrics to a great song by Ray Lamontagne
Let it be Me
There may come a time, a time in everyones life
where nothin seems to go your way
where nothing seems to turn out right
there may come a time, you just cant seem to find your way
for every door you walk on to, seems like they get slammed in your face
thats when you need someone, someone that you can call.
and when all your faith is gone
feels like you cant go on
let it be me
let it be me
if its a friend that you need
let it be me
let it be me
feels like your always commin on home
pockets full of nothin and you got no cash
no matter where you turn you aint got no place to stand
reach out for something and they slap your hand
now i remember all to well
just how it feels to be all alone
you feel like youd give anything
for just a little place you can call your own
thats when you need someone, someone that you can call
and when all your faith is gone
feels like you cant go on
let it be me
let it be me
if its a friend you need
let it be me
let it be me
Let it be Me
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